The sister of my office friend is getting married to a farang and it’s been delightful to hear all the stories and tribulations that this farang has either been put through or put the family through since the start of their relationship. The stories I have heard from this one relationship would be enough to write my diary for a few months alone with.
The most recent one is about the “sin sod” or the concept of offering some money at the wedding from the husband and his family to the wife and her family. Normally this is just for show because we want to let people know how successful and auspicious the particular relationship is or will be and to show how much the two families are excited about coming together. Now even among us Thai people the idea of what “sin sod” is can differ and this isn’t just based on where your family comes from but also based on things like your education and your parents view to the husband or to the wife. For example “sin sod” might not be used in the same way if your daughter wants to marry man number 1 than if she wants to marry man number 2. Its flexible and the way in which the family want to use it depends on all sorts of factors.
One thing it is not is a way to purchase the wife from the family. This idiot farang has come to my office friend and asked her how much her sister is worth and so how much should he pay for her! What the hell?? This moronic white-skinned beached whale, barely strong enough to lift his own weight from the sofa chair to grab another singha beer (yes, I’ve seen his pictures and OI, DISGUSTING!) seems to think he is buying his wife. So this means several other things- one, he thinks he is so far above her, being the one doing the “purchasing” and her being the one “purchased” so obviously he has no respect for her, two that he couldn’t be bothered to learn the first little thing about the culture he is about to marry into and three, he is a fat idiot.
The thing is the family didn’t even ask him for “sin sod” and never mentioned it, he came right out of the blue and asked my friend how much her sister was worth. They don’t even want it- it’s not applicable for them since he is not a Thai man. The best advice I can give him is to forget the pickup truck full of gold and at least apply some anti-perspirant before the actual event.
May 8th, 2008 at 8:38 am
Hey Fon, please write an entry about the stupid Thai-women who follow a farang all the way to Farangland just to find out that their greed for money will leave them detached from everything they know & love and therefore live an unhappy life……who is the stupid one in this???
I love your blog, it is so fake that it’s funny!
May 12th, 2008 at 7:12 am
Fon, how about something on the endless demands for “naamjai”. With the families of so many Thai women, there is an eternal list of financial needs (the buffalo has died, the roof leaks, there is an insurance premium on the truck, I made a promise o my grandfather, etc etc) and they turn inevitably to the farang spouse. As soon as he turns down a single request, no matter how unreasonable, the family is up in arms accusing him of being “Khii niao” and expressing pity for the poor wife of such a selfish brute.
I gave half of my salary away to my wife’s family, and wound up far worse off than before I went to Thailand. Still, they told my wife that she should divorce me because I was so stingy. Go figure!
May 25th, 2008 at 5:01 am
Hi, your blog has become a subject of discussion on koratfarang.com (http://koratfarang.com/board/index.php?topic=3311.0) maybe you want to give your side on the discussion? I think it would be interesting..
Best wishes
KF
August 6th, 2008 at 5:31 am
I love to read comment on Sin Sod and money in Thai / Farang relationships. The word ” money” is always the devil in these sometimes great loving “ yes loving” relationships.
I have not paid Sin Sod and hate the thought of it, even though i understand it, why because it will be waisted on nose jobs and not put to any real use.
The comprehension of a poor Farang is very hard for a Thai to understand.
Fact: a bigger percentage of Thai own their own houses than in my country England.
This does not make them rich but it takes the pressure out of life, being a Farang from England with a Thai girl friend of 3 years, with 3 brothers and 2 sisters who thought all their money troubles were over when we met, they were so wrong I have tried to “help” them “help” themselves without giving them money????? How can this be??? Not give money? I advised them how they could work and make money, work? yes they work in their rice fields with little or no return. But all other work stops when the rice planting and harvest time starts and they are told they will get 10baht per kilo, when they come to sell it to the local “ rich” dealer they are given 4 bath per kilo cos it of “ poor quality “ and they end up with a total of about 10,000 per year. But they have always done this and cannot see a way out and improve their income, even with my help! So now I have stopped trying to help, so they are all in the hands of the local money lenders paying 120% per year on their loans, I cannot risk loaning them money myself at no interest, because their will take it as a gift not a loan, and never pay anything back cos I rich Farang.
I can see the main difference between the poor Thai and the rich Farang one is innovation and there are so many more deference’s in our lives. In England I had to pay out over £200 every week, rates/standard payments like electric, gas, water, telephone and mortgage before i could eat. Here I have to pay out 150 baht “ electric only “ per week just to live, all other payments are life or luxuries choices.
I made my own water filter out of 3 ong’s “ big water jugs” with stones and sand cost about 800 baht to the amazement of the locals who drink rain or rancid ground water and have done for hundreds of years. But I am a lucky farang who can rewire,re-plumb, build and repair almost anything in everyday life, because we had to do in farangland cos the trades men wanted £150 to £250 a day. I’m lucky cos like most retired Farang in Thailand, I worked hard for a minimum of 10 hours a day for 40+ years which has made me “lucky” I paid a private pension for the last 20 years. I retired at 55 years old and came to Thailand because i could not live a good life in my own country on my income and I was over the hill and told to slow down and go to the places only old men go. Well I’m here because I’m “ lucky” not rich, and like most Farang cannot sit and watch the world go by but push it along, i can’t help it, it’s my culture and the majorly Thai have theirs, they could be as lucky as me if they tried.