Farangs love to be hypocrites. They just love it, saying one thing is bad while doing the same, criticising with the left hand while undertaking the exact same behaviour with the right. A recent example is how some people reading my diary have decided that I can’t exist. Firstly, if I could figure out how to make it so only Thai people could read my diary, I would have done that already. Secondly, I DO exist. I’m going to take a moment to explore the inner workings of the farang brain when it stumbles (probably drunkenly) across my diary website:

Farang Brain: Dum der dum.. where did I put my beer?

FB: Hm, let’s search the internet for myself, since I am so important. I wonder if I can find pictures of people who look just like me having sex with Thai girls. I especially like the pictures where the girl looks unhappy or exploited.

*types any mixture of the following words into google.com: farang, sex, thai farang, farang thai girl, farang thai girl pic, thai girl exploited, farang exploits thai girl*

FB: Im bored with porn (not really- Ill be back in 5 mins) what’s this? Funny farangs? A Thai person stereotyping the farang race with understandable written english and never mentioning som tam? Obviously a fake! Since ALL thai people are so stupid and bad at anything other than eating or smiling!

FB: And besides! How can this Thai stereotype all farangs? We all know all Thais are the same, but white people are better and more unique because we have universities, schools, governments, hospitals and banks that all agree to agree they are better than Eastern universities, schools, governments, hospitals and banks! I know most of the farangs are bad but I’m different! I’m a really good farang! Besides, when I take a Thai girl to bed I pay her a really big tip!
Losers.

Let’s have a giggle at some of the internet warrior comments from a collection of loosely linked sexpats from Korat. Korat has a contingent of farangs for one reason only- many poor families live in the area surrounding Korat and their daughters frequently end up in bars that farangs frequent. The more successful ones manage to convince their customer to actually go home with them and pay for, well, everything for, well, everyone. Korat is booming thanks to this – good going sisters!

The farang named Ludo (“Sr. Member” – not sure what this refers to, maybe they compare phallus sizes as part of the registration procedure?) says:

“Earning 20.000 THB and run a non profit orientated .com web page to rage against farangs – not easy to believe.”

Well, Ludo, I suppose your average interaction with Thai people is only those that earn 200 000 thb and run multi-million baht earning websites which… oh wait, no you don’t. You don’t know any successful or interesting Thai’s. That kind of restriction in your life is only going to hinder any understanding of diversity in a society, isn’t it.

Farang sebastien says:

“Most of them [have] never been abroad.”

Whereas most Americans don’t even have passports!

It was hard to keep concentrating to find any more particularly funny comments, since this group, during the course of this two page discussion, had gone without sexual perversion and beer for at least 10 minutes and instead began to collapse inwardly, arbitrarily accusing one another of breaking “forum rules” and demanding apologies from one another. Eventually someone remembered what they were talking about and I managed to read this before finally falling asleep out of sheer boredom:

Farang says:

“I’m convinced that the blogger is not what he / she claims to be as well. In the last blog of today he/she claims to have been in Jakarta and haven’t seen that many farangs. With the proclamation of working 6 days a week for a rather low salary – why would someone fly to Jakarta? Distorted facts”

This is what happens to a a farang brain when it is occupied, day in day out, with nothing but alcohol absorpton and sexual deviancy. The first thing to go- the imagination. What could a professional Thai adult who works a 6 day week for 20 000 thb possibly be doing in Jakarta! Come on.. think really hard. I know you can do it.

The sister of my office friend is getting married to a farang and it’s been delightful to hear all the stories and tribulations that this farang has either been put through or put the family through since the start of their relationship. The stories I have heard from this one relationship would be enough to write my diary for a few months alone with.

The most recent one is about the “sin sod” or the concept of offering some money at the wedding from the husband and his family to the wife and her family. Normally this is just for show because we want to let people know how successful and auspicious the particular relationship is or will be and to show how much the two families are excited about coming together. Now even among us Thai people the idea of what “sin sod” is can differ and this isn’t just based on where your family comes from but also based on things like your education and your parents view to the husband or to the wife. For example “sin sod” might not be used in the same way if your daughter wants to marry man number 1 than if she wants to marry man number 2. Its flexible and the way in which the family want to use it depends on all sorts of factors.

One thing it is not is a way to purchase the wife from the family. This idiot farang has come to my office friend and asked her how much her sister is worth and so how much should he pay for her! What the hell?? This moronic white-skinned beached whale, barely strong enough to lift his own weight from the sofa chair to grab another singha beer (yes, I’ve seen his pictures and OI, DISGUSTING!) seems to think he is buying his wife. So this means several other things- one, he thinks he is so far above her, being the one doing the “purchasing” and her being the one “purchased” so obviously he has no respect for her, two that he couldn’t be bothered to learn the first little thing about the culture he is about to marry into and three, he is a fat idiot.

The thing is the family didn’t even ask him for “sin sod” and never mentioned it, he came right out of the blue and asked my friend how much her sister was worth. They don’t even want it- it’s not applicable for them since he is not a Thai man. The best advice I can give him is to forget the pickup truck full of gold and at least apply some anti-perspirant before the actual event.